The journey through my bodies comes to an end!   This exploration reinforced to me, yet again, the multidimensional potential of yoga practice.  The yoga community in the West spends a great deal of time milling about in the physical realm of the annamaya kosha.  In itself, of course, coming to know one's physical self is a fruitful activity and can lead to many benefits.  The unfortunate result of focussing only on one kosha is that yoga, then, can become simply another extension of a vanity obsessed, consumer culture.  

The over-valuation or over-emphasis of any one kosha leads to an unbalanced, sometimes extremist perspective on the practice.  In contrast to the physical obsessions of the West we've also heard the stories of the incredible feats achieved by yogi's dwelling in the transcendent realms of energy and awareness.  In some traditions these magical abilities become obsessions in their own right leading only to a different kind of vanity seen as righteousness - but, in the end it is vanity nonetheless.  

A practice that deeply respects the complementarity of the koshas and the importance of integrating each of them leads to greater balance.  Exploring the shit and pleasure of the physical realm grounds the potential for a deep denial of our humanity when only the koshas of mind and bliss are explored.  On the other hand, keeping mindful of our energetic and spiritual nature reminds the yoga butt obsessions within us (and they are within all of us to some degree!) that there is something more to our existence than achieving physical perfection. 

A deep honouring of each of our bodies helps us to realize our fundamental wholeness, or Pure Being.  This last "non-sheath" is what is revealed as we hold the totality of our human/divine nature.  This human/divine nature is expressed through all of the koshas.  What would it look like in your own practice to honour each of your bodies?  What would it look like to remind ourselves of the multidimensional reality that we are the next time we think we know which approach to yoga is the right one? 

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All of existence comes alive in us.  When you really contemplate it isn't it true?  It is the Awareness that we are which perceives the heat of the sun, the smell of freshly blossomed lilacs, the glorious flavor of Haagen Dazs ice cream on our palate.  In awareness the inner world bursts forth as well.  The perception of hunger, the heat of our passions, the heaviness of our grief.  All of life, internal and external, become illuminated by the light of Awareness.  In the asmitamaya kosha we come to know ourselves as this Awareness.  We see that it's not that awareness is in the person but that the person is experienced in Awareness.   All our thoughts, feelings and perceptions do not really have a center.  There is no "me" that can be found at the whirling center of all of life arising and dissolving.  There is no me that can define an other, and therefore our separate existence from all of life cannot be proven.  When we allow ideas of who and what we think we are or should be fall away there is simply Openness left.  We Fall Open.  In this Openness the wall of ideas that used to block our fluid and everchanging experiences of life crumbles.  Concepts of right and wrong, good and bad no longer maintain a foothold in this expansion and life is allowed to simply be.  We come to know that everything that we once labelled as good or bad is made up of the same stuff.  All of it having a right to it's sacred expression.   

During a retreat with Richard Miller I was in a gazing meditation with a partner.  Initially intimidating, the practice of looking into another person's eyes for 30 or more minutes allowed me to recognize that the same Awareness that was looking through my eyes was looking through my partner's as well.  Awareness was looking at itself.  I felt that very distinctly.  I, as Awareness, was looking at Me.  And not only that, but I was looking at Me, through Me.  I was both Awareness and the Object of Awareness.  I was both the Light of the Divine and the Immanence of the Human form.  This is Pure Being.  This didn't feel at all like a shift in consciousness, like in the use of psychedelic drugs.   It just felt like everything I once knew fell away for a moment.  Everything fell and what was left was Being, being.  Jean Klein, modern non-dual teacher said:  "When you know all that you are not, all that you are appears instantaneously and is not a thought".  

After the realization during the retreat, the filmline of my day to day activities didn't end but it felt stripped of personal agenda.   The inner critic that has so fervently run my life at times was on vacation.  I was hanging out in life; spurred to action by something other than my head and it's neurosis.  There was no yip yapping from the should's and ought to's in my mind.

And then, one day, it all came back. The little commentator within came barreling back and I was as fascinated by it's return as I was by it's sudden disappearence a month prior.  This commentator started being awefully bossy very quickly, controlling this, liking or hating that.  My mind had slipped back into a separate self sense.  Part of me felt so disappointed (my ego wanted to grasp this freedom and keep it forever!) and another part of me knew this was a natural movement.  We fall in and out of remembering our self as Everything.  But that's just part of the Everything too. 
 
Even though I continue to fall in and out of this remembering, life changed for me after that retreat with Richard, as it had after other non-dual experiences growing up.  As with every other Falling Open in my life, a little bit of my personal motivation to control my life (and everything else!) dissipated.  Now, I find myself more in tune with the rhythm of those around me, the cycles of seasons and emotions and all other wonders and less entranced by my own self contracted stories.  I'm not enlightened, whatever that means.  But, despite sometimes acting to the contrary, I have known myself as Light - and You as nothing less than the same. 

 In my last post I explored the sheath of Joy.  At this level of awareness seeking ceases.  We come to realize that the Joy that we spend so much energy on trying to attain is closer to us than any possession or achievement could ever be.   Thank god this Bliss of living is not an attainment, it cannot be bought or sold, given or taken away.  It is part of the fabric of what we are, although often forgotten.  As we become still the body of Joy is revealed; remembered.  The Joy that we long for is present and contentment arises.  If only for a moment.  In the lucidity of this contentment there is spaciousness, the mind rests in this Joy and it's relentless hobby of rejecting or grasping experiences pauses. 

When stillness reigns there is nothing left to do, be, or have - and we rest.  From this place of deep rest, this deep Savasana,  something emerges.  Something gets sifted out of this stillness.  The bright light of what is awake in us becomes more and more obvious - we become aware of our own awareness.  We come to recognize that all other levels of our being have been experienced, witnessed by something.  Contemporary philosopher, Ken Wilber puts it this way:  "You are not your thoughts, for you are aware of them.  You are not your feelings for you are aware of them.  You are not any objects that you can see , for you are aware of them too....What is it in you that is always awake?"  Who are you?  What is this you that you call yourself?  What is it that is aware of all of the levels of your being?  This is not the little I that is attached to a personal identity; you know, the part that loves ice cream and romantic comedies, for those procivlities can be witnessed by something much closer.   In yoga or meditation we are often asked to watch our thoughts, to gain some distance from them, some perspective.  This is a wonderful practice, but it doesn't end there.  What happens when we watch the watcher?   This creates a profound paradox in our being that the small mind cannot grasp and words cannot describe fully.  The spontaneous shift to becoming aware of awareness collapses our cognitive assumptions about reality.  This is a cataclysmic disruption of how we have traditionally assumed the world to be - we become both the observer and the observed.  We no longer exist in the realm of either/or; black vs white, instead, we are both.  Our inherent wholeness becomes obvious and the struggle back and forth between good and evil, darkness and light ceases.  Tensions relax and we become the Everything that we have always been..... 

Have you journeyed into the question "Who Am I?"?  Please let Falling Open be a forum for sharing your journey with others so that we may know our Selves together...

Join me in my next post as we explore the final 'non-sheath" of Pure Being.  I will conclude this series with a post on the implications of working with the koshas as a teacher or practitioner. 

In my last post I concluded by saying that I may not be able to experience life's ultimate Truth but I can experience it's ultimate Joy.  After recognizing the limitations of the intellect there is a natural letting go that happens.  For me, by becoming intimately aware of my koshas I come to see the transient nature of all experiences.  There is no foothold on which I can place my security; there is no constant state of pleasure without pain, no ultimate Truth, no state free of the potential for suffering.  When I am reminded of the natural flow of things I fall into a state of Grace where every cell within me celebrates the Life that flows through it.  Good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, righteous or not.  In these moments Bliss rises out of nowhere and the radiant Life that I am basks in it's own brilliance.  This is not Bliss that is dependent on things going my way.  It is Life loving Itself; celebrating Itself; shouting to the entire universe a resounding, Yes! 

For some reason I have always been conscious of this level of my Being without much effort.   Despite the trials of my life, I have always been fortunate enough to hear the faint echo of this sheath affirming life's abundant mystery.  Even in times of deep pain I recall feeling a profound awe about the depth of my own despair.  There was always something present in even the worst of times that called me to recognize the Bliss of living.  Joy is our birthright, says Richard Miller, it is always already there.   How could this not be the case?  Can you imagine an atom that does not have a passion for it's existence?  Can you feel, today, beyond transient emotions and limiting thoughts into your very cells where Joy of Being simply is?    Perhaps you feel it as you read this; perhaps you need to find a still moment in the rush of your day to travel through the grosser levels of your being until you become halted by a wall of Life impassioned by it's own existence.   Whatever the case, please take my word for it that somewhere, regardless of the stress and trials you find yourself in, something within has it's arms wide open and is dancing to both the chaotic and fluid rhythms of your life.   With every one of your tears and every burst of your laughter it becomes wild with ecstasy.  This is Body of Joy; unremitting and ever-present.  It is not a object that exists out there that can be bought or sold, found or lost, but is part of the very fabric of who you are.