At 9 years old I was shocked when I realized the degree to which we could do harm to one another. Prior to that time I had been exposed to all sorts of violence on tv, in movies and in rumors and hearsay. But it was the bullies at elementary school that saddened my heart enough to spur a life of questioning. At this young age I began to question the nature of suffering, how any so called benevolent creator could allow for such suffering and whether it was possible to be free of it. At the age of twelve, I was graced with the first glimpse of life without suffering. It lasted no more than 5 minutes, but it's echo remains with me still. I was sitting before a sunset. It's painted beauty silenced any thoughts that plagued my young mind. In the awe and stillness of that moment the little self that experienced pain was dissolved and what was left was simply the sky. I've come to know this experience as Oneness, or non-duality. In this moment, and numerous times since, I have felt the dissolution of suffering. It has been my call, from that experience on, to know what happened on that cool summer night in 1991. Perhaps if I could understand it, I could live and share it. In the naivety of my youth I dreamt of a world free of suffering. I suppose I dream of that still.
Questioning has allowed me to live in an intimate relationship with life. It is through questioning that I have come to know philosophies of east and west in experiential ways. I question philosophies until I can feel it in my bones. When I came across yoga in my final year of university I knew that I had found system through which I could understand suffering and Freedom. I began to dig as deep into the philosophical system of yoga as I did in to my own experiences in asana. And a whole world began to unfold. This was a homecoming for me.
I continue to question myself and yoga every day of my life. It is how I pay both these things my deepest respect. I refuse to skim the surface of the gift of my existence and the system of yoga. Instead I want to honour both by knowing them deeply, intimately, beyond assumptions or the hearsay of others. For me, to know something, to be present to it is to love. The oracle at Delphi said, “Know thyself, through dialogue with self and others”. I move forward with this blog in the spirit of deep respect and love through questioning. I hope you'll join me in the dialogue.